Transforming Shame

A few years ago, I had the privilege of interviewing nearly 70 women about pleasure. 🌸

When asked what other emotions accompanied joy and gratitude, guilt and shame also ranked within the top five. This left me wondering:

✨ Why do so many of us struggle to receive pleasure fully?
✨ How did we learn to see sensuality as something to be earned rather than embraced?

Tara Brach, psychologist, meditation teacher, and author of Radical Acceptance, speaks of the “trance of unworthiness”—a deeply ingrained belief that we must prove our value before we can receive love, joy, or pleasure. This conditioning keeps us in cycles of self-denial, making us hesitant to trust our desires.

Gabor Maté, renowned for his work on trauma and the body, explains that shame often originates from a rupture in connection—especially in childhood. When our authentic needs were met with disapproval, we learned to suppress them, disconnecting not just from others but also from our own bodies and sensuality.

These insights hit home. If you’ve ever felt resistance to pleasure, you’re not alone. Healing is possible, and it begins with curiosity, compassion, and a willingness to reconnect with yourself.

One powerful pathway to healing is Sexological Bodywork—a therapeutic, body-based approach that helps dissolve toxic shame and rebuild a more loving, accepting relationship with our bodies. Through breath, movement, and conscious touch, it allows us to release old patterns of tension, expand our capacity for pleasure, and feel safer in receiving. This practice isn’t just about sensuality—it’s about coming home to ourselves, in full self-acceptance.

So here’s a reminder:

Treasured 💎

No matter what you matter
A fact, they can’t dispute
Don’t let self-bashing chatter
Your inner worth refute
Astute although your mind is
It doesn’t have this sussed
Show yourself loving-kindness
Be fair, be true, be just

No matter what you’re worthy
You’re needed and you count
When life feels topsy-turvy
When you feel pushed around
Remind yourself this often
Place one hand on your heart
Towards your own self soften
You are a vital part

No matter what you’re treasured
Your soul in all its shades
By what you do not measured
From stardust you were made
Humanity is stately
Let who you are unfold
Dear soul, you matter greatly
You’re gold d’you know? Pure gold

If this resonates, let’s connect. Together, we can explore pathways to self-acceptance and embodied joy. 💖