A few years ago, at the beginning of the pandemic, I participated in a women’s circle ⭕️ which was focussing on sensuality. A few days ago I stumbled upon one of the homework assignments which was to write down all the things which brought me pleasure. Divine timing you might say, given that the topic of pleasure guides most of my work these days! 💫
Here were the top ten items on my list of 50 ways to connect to my sensuality back in 2019:
1. Hearing the sound of the waves/running water/the rain
2. Going to the spa, swimming and bathing in hot water
3. Hearing the sound of the cicadas on hot summer nights
4. Walking barefoot in the earth/sand
6. Watching the clouds drift by and imagining different shapes in the clouds
7. The smell of freshly cut grass
9. Skinny dipping
10. Listening to “Nightswimming” by REM
On re-reading this list I realised several things about myself. Firstly, I noticed that the list would be even longer these days 😜. Secondly, I was aware of how so many of these pleasurable activities revolve around slowing down and opening my senses. Finally, and perhaps most interestingly, I observed that most of these pleasurable activities actually begin with connecting to myself. 💗
All too often, we seek pleasure outside of ourselves.
And during physical intimacy this can mean that we look to our partner to provide pleasure, to give it to us, to deliver it. And this expectation can create frustration and disappointment. It is wonderful of course to both receive and give pleasure but we have to know what feels good for us in our own bodies first. 🙌
Pleasure begins when we take time to decelerate and notice what brings us true joy and satisfaction these days.
When it comes to tuning into our sensual and sexual pleasure it can really help to explore our own bodies first. To have those extra long, loving, tender self-pleasure rituals which begin with soft touch all over the body and aren’t just focussed on genital orgasm. To be less goal-orientated with ourselves.
What would be on your sensuality list nowadays? 🍑
Curious to know,